Saying Goodbye SUCKS.

Posted: February 28, 2012 in Uncategorized

Well, Matt visited and  left already. I can’t say enough how freaking fast time goes by when you don’t want it to. I wish I had a time turner or time machine or a way to stop time. Whatever. I just did not want to see Monday morning roll around. But alas, it did. We had a fantastic time though. He arrived last Thursday, meeting me at the Clapp Library. I had the desk so of course, every time the door opened I damn near jumped out of my skin in anticipation. I jokingly said that I might leap-frog over the desk when he arrived but since I was wearing my new Dansko clogs (and I possess little ankles) I figured a broken ankle would not be conducive to a fun weekend of walking around Salem. A little before 4p, there was his sweet little self toting a dozen roses! Yes folks, my husband is a romantic and stopped and purchased flowers on his walk to the library. He figured this was his one chance since he isn’t really around to give me flowers anymore.

I did NOT leap over the desk. Rather I casually walked around and he gave me a huge “lift me off the ground” hug. It was a wonderful feeling to actually see him again. Granted Google+ is nice but seeing someone in person is even nicer. So we hung out at the desk for awhile, him sitting there and me helping patrons when one of my most awesome colleagues came up and took my spot so I could leave a bit early!  Yay to Alana! So the weekend officially began. We went to Salem two days in a row. We drank coffee, walked around, shopped, and had awesome conversations. Despite the rain on Friday and the wicked wind on Saturday, it was perfect. It was like no time had ever been spent apart. We just picked up right where we left off and fell into our familiar groove of marriage bliss.

Since I am used to walking everywhere and have damn near acclimated myself to the temperatures, I do not mind walking. In fact, if a place is a half-hour walking distance from me, I consider it close. So two solid days of walking for about 8 hours each day was plenty of extra cardio for me. By the time Sunday rolled around, we were tired and our legs were broken.  So we planned the day to be low-key. A little grocery shopping (and while I hate grocery shopping in general, it was fun to be with someone else!), watching some bad horror movies on Netflix, and having dinner at Lemon Thai here in Wellesley. He suggested getting take-out but since I ALWAYS eat dinner in my apartment, I desperately needed a change of scenery even if it was only down the street.

Izzy adjusted straight away.It was obvious that he not only remembered Matt but also missed him as is evident of his “scenting” Matt’s clothes. Here is the pic of Izzy putting his lovely hairs all over Matt’s stuff. I imagine upon return, Edgar was pissed over the “new cat smell.”

So needless to say Izzy got double-lovins for a few days. When I returned home last night from work solo, he seemed really disappointed like, “Oh, just you again. Um, well, I guess that will have to do. Now go give me food.” Such is the life of a Mass-Cat.

I did learn a few things while Matt was here. The first is what happens when you don’t have any money to pay the tolls! I always wondered what they would do to you. I mean, how many times must it happen where someone makes a wrong turn or geniunely gets on the wrong road and “BAM–a toll.” Surely this happens on a daily basis and quite honestly, how many of us carry cash or spare change around with us anymore? I live and die by my debit card unless Mr. Toll-Booth Dude wants to run my card I guess we are both SOL. (That’s “shit out of luck” for those not from the south.) Well, we left downtown Salem to go to the Target in Salem. I wanted to buy one of those Brita water purifiers so I can stop wasting money and plastic on bottled water. Plus lugging up cases of water up two flights of stairs just plain sucks it. We found the Target just fine and I managed to get laundry detergent and other cleaning supplies that I needed as well. We leave the parking lot and our Carmen Sandiego (our Garmin GPS) takes us an entirely different way back. Mind you, it seemed easier to just go back the way we came but NOOOOO, she had other ideas. Matt firmly believes it is a conspiracy whereby if she can get you on a tollroad, Garmin gets a kickback. Hell, he might be right because that is exactly what she did. She took us all the way to Logan Freaking Airport in Boston! And from there, you guessed it, the tollway. Well, that’s nice in all if we had actually planned on getting on a tollway but we didn’t. So we both start to panic. What will they do to us when they discover we are poor Indiana natives unprepared to be driving around the big city?

Well, we pulled up and told the guy the truth. We didn’t have any monies. Sorry. Turns out they don’t shoot you on the spot or handcuff you to your car. They make you fill out a form and then they keep that portion and give you an envelope to mail in your payment within 14 days.  I asked Matt if he put down his actual name and address. I mean, hell, how would they know? He did. We both figured tempting fate over $3.50 was a bit much. So there is lesson #1.  If you can’t pay your toll, mail them a check. (and FYI, that Carmen bitch took us a half hour out of our way!)

Lesson #2 is about love. While it was fantastic to see Matt, I almost think not seeing him at all would have been easier. Once separated, you learn to live with your loneliness and emptiness. It becomes a part of you and you learn to adapt and manage. Matt and I equate this to having a limb torn off. It sucks, it makes doing things a lot harder but you learn to work around the missing appendage. Once he arrived, I remembered all over again why I miss him so much. Why I was so depressed and sad when he left back in January. Not that I actually forgot but you get the gist. It made the wounds open and raw again and that made it so much worse when he left Monday morning. And then the realization that we have to do this for TWO years. It just seems inconceivable and ridiculous all at the same time. And it makes me wonder, are we crazy? Crazy for doing this? But then I think about WHY we are doing it. My new fabulous job that I love. His passion for special effects. Our desires to be in New England living a life that sees us reaching our full potential. Yeah, okay. So maybe we are not so crazy after all but it still hurts like hell.

And true to form, only one of us is allowed to freak out at one time. We have always worked well together in this regard, taking our rightful turns. If one of us falters, the other one is the rock. This time Matt was the rock and I cried when I said goodbye to him at the train station. In fact, I will admit, I cried most of the way to work and I didn’t care. I cried in public all over the place when he first moved me here out of sheer panic, fear, and exhaustion so what is one more mile?

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. If this was New Jersey, it would be called New York but instead it is that I will see him again in 2 1/2 weeks when I fly to Pittsburgh. From there we will have ten days together. Enough to maybe get sick of one another, who knows. Either way, I can’t wait. If I ever had any doubts (not that I did) as to whether or not I truly loved him, all that was settled the moment he walked into the library. I knew all over again why I married him in the first place. And no, it wasn’t because of the roses although they were a nice touch and really do brighten up my otherwise dismal dwellings.

Until next time, keep your eye of prize unless the prize is moving really quickly in which case you might have a seizure.

  1. Erin says:

    Awh, that last part was so sweet! I even teared up a little… 🙂 Here’s to two years FLYING BY so you guys can be together again.

  2. Barb Stahura says:

    So glad you had a wonderful weekend together. Time does fly and the good-byes are rough, I know!! Hang in there…better weather coming as is spring break…then summer!! 🙂

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