Mama I’m coming home.

Posted: April 3, 2012 in Uncategorized

So remember when I said that I have moved 15 times in my life since I left my parent’s house? Well, make that 16 baby because I’m headed to Salem!  Now most of you know that I am a firm believer in fate. I have never been one to think, “Gee shit is random and just happens to me for no good reason.” Rather I think, “I wonder what I did in a past life that pissed someone important off?” I say that last question in half-jest but you get my point. Crap goes down with purpose in my life even if I don’t necessarily understand the purpose or the crap.

So here is what I think happened. Matt and I want to live in Salem. Besides growing bored of Indiana and not belonging there, not living up to our full potential, we knew where the end stop was. So we made it happen. We went down paths to get us closer to where we wanted to be. I landed the most fabulous job ever!  It was FATE that the job at Wellesley College was open at the time I was in NEED of a job. And we fit each other. So I got offered the job, I took the job. But wait, I need a place to live. Since I was moving to Massachusetts at the end of December, there were not a whole lot of decent and affordable housing options for me to choose from. It was slim-pickings at best but I scoured Craigslist like a crack fiend looking for that one sweet deal. I thought about moving to Salem then but it seemed so daunting. Like, here I would be in a brand new city, with a brand new job, with winter, with no friends or support network. I envisioned never getting to know my colleagues because I wouldn’t live nearby thereby isolating myself and becoming that dreaded hermit cat lady that I was on the verge of in Indiana. So I chose to live in a small ass room in multi-family house in Wellesley. It was a compromise. I was able to live right up against the college. I could walk to work thereby not stressing and obsessing over driving much which would allow me the opportunity to try my hand at public transit. I also thought I would be able to hang out with work peeps after work, like have drinks or something. And also, there were no real apartments to be found in Salem to rent at that time.

Wellesley, here I came. We moved me in. I had issues with the nutbag downstairs the moment the Honda pulled up in the driveway. It should have been a sign. Somewhere in the screenplay that I am convinced David Lynch is writing of my life, he indicates foreshadowing at this point but I was too exhausted and stressed to notice. My life in that space has been a freaking nightmare. I underplayed a lot of what was going on just so I could keep my sanity. Also, not to worry the bejesus out of friends and family back home who might think I made a colossal mistake moving out here. I tried to find humor in my shitty situation and convinced myself that at the very least, I had creative fodder to fill up a blog. But then things turned really volatile when Matt was here a few weeks ago and the situation could no longer be seen as humorous or light-hearted and I knew that I had to take action in order to physically, emotionally, and spiritually take care of myself. It was time to let the proverbial cat out of the bag.

I filed for the harassment protection order hoping at the very least that Bob would be ordered to stay away from me. I knew deep down that he would never leave me alone even with the restraining order. Granted, they would arrest him but it still put me in a very vulnerable position. I am not ashamed to admit that I am afraid of Bob and I couldn’t see myself toughing it out for another six months or worse, a year. I didn’t think in a million years that my landlord would be the one to suggest I break the lease. Part of me thinks he did that because he recognizes I could sue him. He put me in a very dangerous situation knowing that this would happen. Maybe not to the full extent but he was aware that the woman who lived there before me moved out because of Bob’s harassment. She didn’t know how to stick up for herself.

Never underestimate little people from Indiana. I don’t take shit. I will stand up for myself. I am no victim. I learned that from my father.

Bob and the landlord picked the wrong person to mess with.

So I was given this opportunity to move and I wasn’t about to waste it on moving to some town nearby that I didn’t even want to be in. Hells, no. I was moving to Salem. I was going home. I already spend a lot of my free time there. And since the fates granted me this chance, I was taking it. What I discovered through this process too is that I do not fit in at Wellesley. Not the college but the town itself. I am from a working class background. While I struggled in my early 20’s to distance myself from that fact, I embrace it now. It is my make-up, it’s who I am and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. When Bob called me white trash that really struck a cord because I had fought against that stereotype for so long. Well, Wellesley is the rich of the rich and Salem is a working class town. The people in Salem are different, they are nicer for one thing but they are working class. I appreciate that. I UNDERSTAND that because I am running right alongside them and probably will be for the rest of my life. I’m okay with that.

So back to fate. It was fated that this series of crap happen to me so that I could get to Salem. It wasn’t the right time in December but it is now. I will admit that I could have done without some of the trauma that I have incurred but hey, what’s done is done and I learned:

How awesome it feels to be empowered!

How loud my voice actually is!

How I might weigh less than 100 pounds by I COMMAND my space. You will see me and you will take notice.

That no one is EVER going to bully me again. I dealt with that shit too much in elementary and middle school. I’m not taking it now.

As a little side note, I will share with you a little story. Matt and I have a psychic. Her name is Mama (Lori) Bruno and we visit her every time we are in Salem. She calls me “Little One.”  She is ALWAYS spot on with what she tells us. There have been many times where she has said something and we can’t understand how in the hell that could be true but then it happens. And we say, “We should have never doubted Mama.” So last summer we saw Lori and she told me that I would be moving to Salem in April. At the time I didn’t even have a job out in Massachusetts so I didn’t see how that would work. Then I got the job and signed the year lease. So April was still out of the question. Or so I thought.

I’m moving to Salem this weekend and the date is April 7.

Take from that what you will.

  1. Michael Walkowski says:

    Thanks for the update Dawn but….WTF HAPPENED IN COURT?! Inquiring minds have a need, a desire to know! Or are you saving that for a later time? It had to have been suspenseful? All in all you did make out well.

    Happy packing and trails to Salem!

    • illustratedlibrarian says:

      LOL. I forget that some information is here, on FB, on twitter….So, the judge granted me the restraining order and Bob cannot come within 5 yards of me. In fact, he is not even allowed on the second floor of the building where my apartment resides. The RO includes my place of work here at Wellesley College and is good for a year.

      With all that said, the landlord is now giving me grief about returning my last month’s rent. I paid last month not realizing I would be moving so quickly and I paid a “last month’s rent” when I signed the lease so in essence, I’ve paid twice for March. I don’t want to go to court over this but it looks like that might happen.

  2. Michael Walkowski says:

    I know. I can’t keep track of who, what, where, when, how and, or even, why sometimes. Throw LinkedIn into the mix and it really gets confusing.

    Sometimes I’d like to throttle the whiz bangs who dreamt up this convoluted legal system we’re supposed to live under. I’d like to just live in peace and harmony WITHOUT the need for attorneys. But I guess that’ll be in my next life?

    I’ll friend you if that’s ok?

    Barb and John are friends with my partner, the Karaoke Guy, Peter. FYI. He is not on FB or any social page. He’s getting too old for me.

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